Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Living With Bipolar

Expert Author Gerald L Bouthner
I have suffered with Bipolar for over 20 years. Bipolar disorder usually first occurs between the ages of 15 - 30 years, with an average age of onset at 25 years. I was 27 years old when I started noticing my Bipolar symptoms. However, bipolar disorder can affect people of all ages, including children. Bipolar disorder frequently occurs within families. Family members of patients with bipolar disorder are also more likely to have other psychiatric disorders. They include schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, anxiety disorders, ADHD, and major depression. This is true in my case, my Grandmother was schizophrenic, and my mom is bipolar.
I also had just about all of the classic symptoms of bipolar:
• Decreased interest in friends and activities >yes
• Difficulty concentrating >yes
• A drop in grades or frequent absences from school >yes
• Complaints of tiredness or boredom
• Vague physical symptoms, such as unexplained aches and
pains
• Changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia or oversleeping >yes
• Increased crankiness, hostility, or anger >yes
• Outbursts of shouting or crying
• Reckless behavior >yes
• Alcohol or drug abuse >yes
• Trouble getting along with others >yes
• Social withdrawal >yes
• Hypersensitivity to rejection or failure >yes
• Self-injurious behavior or talk of suicide
As many as 90% of marriages involving someone with bipolar disorder reportedly fail.
Bipolar disorder puts a huge additional strain on a relationship, particularly when you don't have a diagnosis. In my two marriages, I never openly stated what was wrong with me medically. I also did not seriously pursue treatment for my bipolar. Bipolar disorder causes significant psychosocial morbidity, because it frequently affects patients' relationships with family members as well as workplace functioning.
A recent community survey investigated the impact of bipolar disorder on people's lives, using the Mood Disorder Questionnaire (MDQ) as a screening instrument. Subjects screening positive for bipolar disorder on the MDQ reported significantly more work and relationship problems and a greater burden of comorbid medical illness than subjects who were negative for bipolar disorder. Significantly more respondents with positive screens for bipolar disorder had been arrested, convicted, or jailed for a crime compared with respondents with negative screens for bipolar disorder.
Before my Bipolar, I was very active in studying the bible. I even became a Ministerial Servant, and was considered a potential Elder for the congregation. My mental illness Bipolar, sapped out all the discernment I had for the scriptures. I use to have very deep conversations about the bible. Bipolar caused me to now avoid, even the simplest spiritual discussions. I use to feel very close to God, Bipolar caused me to withdraw into a shell, even with God.
I use to be a very successful sales person. Every sales organization I joined, in very short time, I climbed to the top. Before my Bipolar, I was a very sharp and personable person. For me, my Bipolar affects me very severely, as to my thinking ability. My brain feels like there is a cloud or fog encompassing it. Besides, how can you succeed at sales anymore, when your mental illness makes you just want to stay home in bed? I tried for many years to manage my Bipolar out in the workforce, but in the end Bipolar got the best of me.
Worst of all, Bipolar affected my relationships, with the people I dearly loved. Bipolar caused me to withdraw emotionally from those I loved. I lost my first marriage, because she was very deep into the bible and I no longer felt the same spiritual connection. I met her in the congregation, she was a wonderful wife, and devoted person. When I withdrew from God, I also withdrew from her. My mental illness also helped ruin my second marriage. She too, was a very nice person, even meeting me at the door when I arrived home from work, because she wanted to. My Bipolar was getting progressively worst at this point. I begin extremely isolating myself. I would spend all my time alone in the basement, severely affecting my marriage. Eventually, my bipolar again assisted in my losing someone I truly loved.
Today, I am 47 years old. I struggle daily, to live a happy and successful life despite my living with severe Bipolar. Unfortunately, it's the hand I was dealt. I have Bipolar, and it's not going anywhere. I now work at home as a customer service agent. I do have a significant other. I still believe in creation, but am not active at all in practicing religion.
http://mentalhealthlivingwithbipolar.blogspot.com
You can follow my continuing story at http://mentalhealthlivingwithbipolar.blogspot.com

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