By Neil Mastellone
Self-reflection is something most people resist doing. The reason
is obvious, we are afraid of what we might see about ourselves.
Nonetheless, it is only through honest self-reflection that we can hope
to heal and ease our mental and emotional pain.
The more selfish and controlling we become, the more unwilling we are to be wrong, and the less willing we are to self-reflect.
Honest self-reflection is necessary in order for a person to make substantial positive personal changes that will minimize inner pain and reduce negative behavior and destructive experience. True mental health hinges on honest self-reflection and positive change.
* If you struggle with finding the truth about yourself, rest assured that discovering that truth is always possible. The search will be simple, if your intention to accept negative truths about yourself is sincere. Any resistance to seeing the whole truth about yourself will block you from consciously becoming aware.
* Do you like yourself? Do others like you? If you have ever wished you were different, you should know that, at any time, you could choose to be different.
* If the truth about your self makes you feel small, it is past time to start making different choices. Nothing raises a person's self-esteem like a string of truly right choices.
* Are all of your smiles sincere? How frequently do you find yourself going along to get along?
* Unfortunately, most people's self-reflection is limited to looking in a mirror. Does that include you?
* What are you not doing that you know you should be doing?
* How often have you failed because you reactively chose to fail?
* Do you dig deep, give it all you have, come from behind, and never give up? Do you only act that way on a sports field?
* If your actions contradict your words, then, you are choosing to be a hypocrite.
* How many times have you refused to say, "Thank You" when knew you should have?
* Are you basically a "taker?" Have you ever given freely without any strings attached?
* Do you ever wish you could make the shift from becoming to being?
* What are you avoiding dealing with the most? That is what is probably hurting you the most.
* Is your eye on the donut or on the hole? How much time and energy do you invest in petty, trivial, and meaningless activities?
* Are you being true to your heart?
* When someone says, "Be yourself!" what do they mean?
* Which best describes you: open or closed, sincere or insincere, giving or taking, loving or selfish?
* Do you tend to dwell on things you want, but do not have?
* One of the saddest phrases you could utter is, "It might have been if only I had chosen differently."
* The true measure of your life is in how many hours you spent expressing true love and actual truth to the people around you.
* How many "necessities" are you attached to?
* Do people consider you emotionally nourishing or emotionally draining?
* How many of your own mistakes have you chosen to run from?
* Do you deal with feeling alone by throwing yourself into situations with others, or do you deliberately seek solitude? Either way, do you still feel alone?
* "I will." "I won't." Who decides for you?
* One measure of your character is what you would refuse to do when there is no chance you would be found out.
* Two extremely common irresponsible lies are "I could not help it," and "I did not realize I did that."
* Do you foolishly believe that the smarter you are, the better you are? Do you pretend to know more than you actually do?
* How much good do you bring to life?
* If you were granted three wishes, would your wishes reveal how selfish you are choosing to be?
* Every one of your selfish urges has a story to tell. It usually turns out to be a tragedy.
* Is it not true that you know exactly the kind of person you should be?
* Whom do you allow to control you? For what reasons?
* Do you usually play the victim when you perceive yourself as being controlled?
* When you attempt to control the people close to you, what are you trying to gain?
* Have you ever allowed yourself to get in touch with your negative drives to control, to see under them, and discover to whom, and to what they relate to and why?
* Do you selfishly control in basically angry or basically fearful ways?
* How often do you act out of meanness, vengeance, or hate?
* What practical benefits do you get from controlling your everyday situations and interactions?
* Why don't you go against what you feel driven to do, but know you should not be doing?
* What are your favorite rationalizations, the ones that help you make your most wrong choices seem right?
* Do you usually allow yourself to consciously feel the guilt and other negative emotional effects of a wrong choice when you make it?
* Is your attention usually on discovering the right thing to do in a situation, or, typically, is your attention kept on what you want or do not want?
* In what area of your life do you compromise the most? With whom do you compromise the most? To gain what? How do your compromises make you feel?
* Do you seek to give people what they want? Why?
* When a compromise seems to make things better, is it because all the parties are getting what they want from each other?
* Are you willing to distinguish the difference between your selfish ideas of what is right and what is actually right?
* How firm are you in your opinions of what is right or wrong?
* Are you willing to stop controlling your mind and perception long enough to discover what is truly right in any given moment?
* Who decides what you will or will not think, feel, say, and do?
* When you make a selfish choice, what do you usually tell yourself?
* How many times have you convinced yourself that you did not have a choice in a situation?
* Can you always make a choice to be nice and express love? How often do you not make that choice? With whom does that usually occur? Why?
* How willing are you to risk being rejected or ridiculed for making what you know is a right choice?
* Why is it easier to see and focus on another person's wrong choices rather than your own?
* Why do you resist consciously knowing your deepest intentions, thoughts, and feelings? Do you think you can?
* How honest are you with yourself about how you really are? How honest are you with others? Do you recognize the key lies you believe as lies? What are some of them?
* Do you know what your deepest fears are?
* Do you have the courage, when appropriate, to share personal negative truths about yourself with your significant partner?
* Do you refuse to be vulnerable unless those with whom you are interacting are first willing to be vulnerable?
Well, if you turned up any personal negatives, therein lies what should become your the top priority on your "To Do" List.
The more selfish and controlling we become, the more unwilling we are to be wrong, and the less willing we are to self-reflect.
Honest self-reflection is necessary in order for a person to make substantial positive personal changes that will minimize inner pain and reduce negative behavior and destructive experience. True mental health hinges on honest self-reflection and positive change.
* If you struggle with finding the truth about yourself, rest assured that discovering that truth is always possible. The search will be simple, if your intention to accept negative truths about yourself is sincere. Any resistance to seeing the whole truth about yourself will block you from consciously becoming aware.
* Do you like yourself? Do others like you? If you have ever wished you were different, you should know that, at any time, you could choose to be different.
* If the truth about your self makes you feel small, it is past time to start making different choices. Nothing raises a person's self-esteem like a string of truly right choices.
* Are all of your smiles sincere? How frequently do you find yourself going along to get along?
* Unfortunately, most people's self-reflection is limited to looking in a mirror. Does that include you?
* What are you not doing that you know you should be doing?
* How often have you failed because you reactively chose to fail?
* Do you dig deep, give it all you have, come from behind, and never give up? Do you only act that way on a sports field?
* If your actions contradict your words, then, you are choosing to be a hypocrite.
* How many times have you refused to say, "Thank You" when knew you should have?
* Are you basically a "taker?" Have you ever given freely without any strings attached?
* Do you ever wish you could make the shift from becoming to being?
* What are you avoiding dealing with the most? That is what is probably hurting you the most.
* Is your eye on the donut or on the hole? How much time and energy do you invest in petty, trivial, and meaningless activities?
* Are you being true to your heart?
* When someone says, "Be yourself!" what do they mean?
* Which best describes you: open or closed, sincere or insincere, giving or taking, loving or selfish?
* Do you tend to dwell on things you want, but do not have?
* One of the saddest phrases you could utter is, "It might have been if only I had chosen differently."
* The true measure of your life is in how many hours you spent expressing true love and actual truth to the people around you.
* How many "necessities" are you attached to?
* Do people consider you emotionally nourishing or emotionally draining?
* How many of your own mistakes have you chosen to run from?
* Do you deal with feeling alone by throwing yourself into situations with others, or do you deliberately seek solitude? Either way, do you still feel alone?
* "I will." "I won't." Who decides for you?
* One measure of your character is what you would refuse to do when there is no chance you would be found out.
* Two extremely common irresponsible lies are "I could not help it," and "I did not realize I did that."
* Do you foolishly believe that the smarter you are, the better you are? Do you pretend to know more than you actually do?
* How much good do you bring to life?
* If you were granted three wishes, would your wishes reveal how selfish you are choosing to be?
* Every one of your selfish urges has a story to tell. It usually turns out to be a tragedy.
* Is it not true that you know exactly the kind of person you should be?
* Whom do you allow to control you? For what reasons?
* Do you usually play the victim when you perceive yourself as being controlled?
* When you attempt to control the people close to you, what are you trying to gain?
* Have you ever allowed yourself to get in touch with your negative drives to control, to see under them, and discover to whom, and to what they relate to and why?
* Do you selfishly control in basically angry or basically fearful ways?
* How often do you act out of meanness, vengeance, or hate?
* What practical benefits do you get from controlling your everyday situations and interactions?
* Why don't you go against what you feel driven to do, but know you should not be doing?
* What are your favorite rationalizations, the ones that help you make your most wrong choices seem right?
* Do you usually allow yourself to consciously feel the guilt and other negative emotional effects of a wrong choice when you make it?
* Is your attention usually on discovering the right thing to do in a situation, or, typically, is your attention kept on what you want or do not want?
* In what area of your life do you compromise the most? With whom do you compromise the most? To gain what? How do your compromises make you feel?
* Do you seek to give people what they want? Why?
* When a compromise seems to make things better, is it because all the parties are getting what they want from each other?
* Are you willing to distinguish the difference between your selfish ideas of what is right and what is actually right?
* How firm are you in your opinions of what is right or wrong?
* Are you willing to stop controlling your mind and perception long enough to discover what is truly right in any given moment?
* Who decides what you will or will not think, feel, say, and do?
* When you make a selfish choice, what do you usually tell yourself?
* How many times have you convinced yourself that you did not have a choice in a situation?
* Can you always make a choice to be nice and express love? How often do you not make that choice? With whom does that usually occur? Why?
* How willing are you to risk being rejected or ridiculed for making what you know is a right choice?
* Why is it easier to see and focus on another person's wrong choices rather than your own?
* Why do you resist consciously knowing your deepest intentions, thoughts, and feelings? Do you think you can?
* How honest are you with yourself about how you really are? How honest are you with others? Do you recognize the key lies you believe as lies? What are some of them?
* Do you know what your deepest fears are?
* Do you have the courage, when appropriate, to share personal negative truths about yourself with your significant partner?
* Do you refuse to be vulnerable unless those with whom you are interacting are first willing to be vulnerable?
Well, if you turned up any personal negatives, therein lies what should become your the top priority on your "To Do" List.
For truly new perspectives and insights about the psychological
dimensions of our humanity, our most influential relationships, and the
roots of our earliest reactions which are the roots of our disorders and
dysfunctional behavior patterns, visit http://www.upfrontpress.com/
Get cutting-edge research findings and the truth about the psychological sophistication of our unborn babies in a revealing reality-based fiction book "Talking to God about Pregnancy & Babies." Visit http://www.godtalkbooks.com/
Get cutting-edge research findings and the truth about the psychological sophistication of our unborn babies in a revealing reality-based fiction book "Talking to God about Pregnancy & Babies." Visit http://www.godtalkbooks.com/
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